I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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