His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
