You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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