ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
