You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
