But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
