So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
