Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
