You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
