wanna go halves on a baby?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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