you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
