Porn is love you can see.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
