just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
