I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
