dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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