you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
