my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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