I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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