he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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