I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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