Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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