Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I just found a bag of teeth...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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