who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
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