I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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