Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize