I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I see more hoeing in ur future
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