Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
