he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
