i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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