I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
