I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
