wrigley field is MILF paradise
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
