New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
