So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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