Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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