So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize