I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
