Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
