He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
