her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
