Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
