let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
