Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
