winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
