Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
