i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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