I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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