I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I miss vodka workout Fridays
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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