can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
