So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Randomize
