Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Randomize