john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize