you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
