u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I wear drunk well.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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