margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
